The One Course

Recently Tom dropped me off at Toulouse Airport in plenty of time to catch a 5pm flight to Manchester. I was then due to travel to Huddersfield to spend a precious night with my youngest son who was going to meet me at the station. We had booked to go out for a meal together and I was very much looking forward to seeing him. However my flight was delayed by four and a half hours, meaning that I would I arrive in Huddersfield after midnight, miss the meal and have very little time to see him before he left for Belgium early next morning. I realised at 3pm that our plans were going to be cancelled and that I had more than 6 hours to spend in the airport. I had also forgotten to bring my mobile phone!

I relate the story of this situation because it is the sort of thing that happens to us all from time to time to varying degrees. We are having a ‘happy day’ and everything is ticking along nicely and then something ‘goes wrong’. It doesn’t matter how much planning we do, how careful we are, who we are or how much money we have; there will always be times when life throws stuff at us. However; we then have a choice. The choice we have is how we respond to the situation. It is really important that we acknowledge that whatever challenges and situations life throws at us we always have a choice in how we respond to these. It may not be easy, but the choice is there.

These moments can be very testing, but if we recognise them as they occur, then we can learn to take a deep breath and create a space in which to decide how to be, knowing that the opportunity exists to respond in a way that can be beneficial to us and often to those around us too.

So, to finish my story ………….. Once I realised the situation I decided to accept it calmly and to do the best I could with the time. (Of course I did!) I went to the very helpful lady on the information desk who let me use a telephone to ring my son. He cancelled the table and said he would be able to collect me from the station at quarter past midnight. I collected my free drink and sandwich which I was given due to the delay. I then found a desk that had facilities for plugging my computer in so that I could use the time to do some writing. This was something I had been wanting to do for a while. During the next six hours I enjoyed my snack, did my writing, read my book and tried not to focus on the disappointment of the change to my plans. As it happened I managed to spend a night with my son at the end of my visit after he had returned from his trip. So we eventually went out for our meal!

My alternative scenario would have been to not accept the situation, get very upset, and then annoyed, probably with various members of the airport staff. Spend time moaning to other passengers about how bad everything is and generally work myself up, (or down), into a state of misery and ‘poor me’. This would not have changed the situation and certainly I would have felt worse and those around me probably would too!

I realise that all this is easier to say than do – but the more aware we are that we have choices in how we respond to life the more happiness we will experience.

An amazing example of this attitude can be found in the work of Victor Frankl who spent 3 years of his life in a concentration camp. He is a real inspiration.

See www.theonecourse.org for further information and to register your interest in attending.

The yellow brick road of fear – Victim or Hero – the choice is yours!

The Wizard of Oz is a very odd film, I watched every Christmas as a child, and it left an odd impression, in particular that yellow brick road. The world is changing, constantly changing, more quickly, each day. This road into the future can be a source of fear but these changes will continue to happen. Why not accept this reality and simply decide what you want your role to be, in this constantly changing world. If you are reading this it is likely that you have some choice in how your your life could be. The choices you make can create a new reality for yourself and others. Along with choice comes responsibility, which sometimes makes the choice difficult. What if I make the wrong choice? Even if it is difficult, the choice must be made. At some fundamental level we know which choice to make. The choice is yours, victim or hero.

I know that life is difficult for many people on this precious planet. People are struggling with basic needs such as food, health, shelter and companionship. Many of these people have no choice and really are victims of systems beyond their control. But if your basic needs are met, you can start to think about what else you want, and what you want to give. I am guessing that if you are reading this, your basic needs are met and you are able to choose what to do with your life, or as someone put it to me recently, what is it that you love? How to spend your precious life? We choose how to spend our money but our lives are much more valuable. Being in a place of choice is a luxurious place to be, a place of great privilege.

Let’s not waste any more of our precious time on pretending we are victims and waiting for a hero to rescue us. Who is the hero we are waiting for, a spouse or parent, a child, a government, a corporation? Instead we can all become our own heroes. It is wonderful to sit and think, meditate or even simply do nothing at all, for a while. Eventually though, we have choices to make on how to move forward with our lives. Making these choices can be difficult but by making them we can stop being the victim, overcome fear and become the hero of our own life. Also, if we truly care about the real victims in this world, we can choose to do something for them too as we walk our own yellow brick road.

In The Wizard of Oz, for me, the yellow brick road is the frightening path of choice which needs to be walked by each of the 4 main characters. By walking it, we find ourselves, by facing our fears and making difficult choices. So look within, become your own hero, become powerful, take some action in your own life, and walk that road.

The one course is delivered in a very open, person centred way by myself and my wife Ann. We create a framework for the open expression of ideas by all attendees. We help create an environment in which all participants feel supported on their personal journey by all others on the course.

There are no right or wrong answers and we start by jointly determining the values which will make the course successful for us individually and collectively. We use the principles of kindness, non-judgement and helpfulness towards each other to guide us all on a path of personal improvement.

We are all capable of helping others and being helped. Non of us are experts and all of us are fallible humans. We have one life and if we plant some flowers for the bees and butterflies during that life, that in itself would be wonderful. Come and plant some flowers with us, it will be fun.

Ann and me spent a lot of time working on Growing with Grace organic farm before we came out to France. We used to put edible flowers amongst the salad which was lovely.

http://www.growingwithgrace.org.uk/

Even if you don’t come on the course, plant some flowers, or some vegetables.

I am writing a short book about life which I think can be summed up by one four letter word. Life is all about LUCK and that’s about it. I will try to explain why I find this word so important. Each letter of LUCK stands for a very important word. If we live life with these 4 words at the forefront of our mind I think we will have lots of LUCK.

LOVE. Learn to love yourself. You can forgive yourself and stop living in the shadow of fear, anger or guilt. Love being, a fallible human being, love doing your best. You can also can love and forgive “others” too. You can even learn to love everything you do.

UNDERSTANDING. Learn to understand by observing, reading and listening. Understanding how systems and people interconnect and influence events gives us a healthy perspective on life. Understanding yourself is the biggest challenge of life.

CREATIVITY. Creativity can open up a world of joy and passion for life. Positive things come from creative thought or creative action. Creativity is most powerful when it suits this moment. How can we creatively contribute, positively to every moment?

KINDNESS. Kindness is a marvellous healer. We can learn to be kinder to ourselves and others. Kindness is like a beautiful sunrise which shifts everyone’s emotions to a better place. We can practice kindness towards everyone we meet and see their face light up.

Feeling unlucky? Try Love, Understanding, Creativity, Kindness and see what happens.